Lucifer Over Lanarkshire: Rocky Horror Sucks

Every year at the Samhain, or Halloween, season, musical theatre lovers break out their basques, fishnets and eyeliner and strut to theatres to see ‘The Rocky Horror Show’. Created by Richard O’Brien in the seventies, it fused glam rock with kitsch horror and has become a staple of repeated stage and screen experiences worldwide. But I think it sucks.

First, the good. Tim Curry. That’s it. As Dr Frank -N- Furter, he cuts an iconic figure- beautiful, androgynous,sexy and snide. He gets the best songs. He brings much needed cynicism to a really dull script. The screen lights up whenever he is on it.

Now, the bad… Everything else. The script is boring, hideously conventional, and the songs have not dated well. Likewise, the taboos it tried to break were already being broken by better artists of the time (Bowie; Jayne County, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, John Waters, Warhol and the Factory, etc.) and so it is tame in comparison. The songs are a flatulent facsimile of proto-punk/50s rock ‘n’ roll. How bad are they? Meatloaf is in the film. Meatloaf! There is never any excuse for that. (Apart from ‘Fight Club’.)

Next, have you ever been to a live show version of it ? It’s full of people who think drag is hilarious, and don’t understand it as an art form; dress up once a year, and have never been to real gigs before, or experienced raw, really dangerous performance art. That would be fine, but they think it is all so outrageous. I had the misfortune to review it a few years ago, and was clock watching all the way through. It was long and expositional. The audience cackled at everything and nothing, just happy to be out for the night. They also don’t really pay attention, just yell out catchphrases.

Yup, it sucks all right. Count me out, please. Tim Curry, though…legend.