I’m positively fossil aged, but back in the day, we had these nebulous concepts called “the charts”. This was when record companies received notification of which musical artists were selling the most singles. The Top 40 was thus reflected on a terminally naff TV show on the BBC, usually with teenagers grinning dementedly, dancing in an uncoordinated way, throwing balloons and streamers, and uncool presenters, many of whom, in hindsight, had been a tad “handsy” with said kids.
Top of the Pops was its name, and it ran for a ridiculously long time (1964-2006) the format like a well expired tin of tuna from yesteryear. However,occasionally,there were some jaw -dropping moments which made it compelling. It was mostly when someone cool did something outrageous, or your favourite band fucked it up. Here are five great incidents… Who remembers these?
Oh, cringe. In 1988, All About Eve’s Julianne Regan and Tim Bricheno were set to mime to their lovely ballad, Martha’s Harbour. But they couldn’t hear the tape until halfway through. It’s so embarrassing, you totally felt for them, but they handled it with dignity. And they both look gorgeous here.
Neneh Cherry had always been a trailblazer in music, whether in The Slits or Rip Rig And Panic, but her first solo breakout hit Buffalo Stance , in 1989, had her performing at eight months pregnant. It was so wonderful to see, because generally singers didn’t perform so late into a pregnancy. Nowadays, health and safety would probably advise against it. Cherry was really sassy and energetic – heroic.
1984 was ful of pretty awful conveyor belt pop. So The Smiths were always welcome outsiders. Morrissey, miming to William, It Was Really Nothing, opened his shirt halfway through, to reveal “MARRY ME”. It was a funny antidote to the ubiquitous pretty boys with stylists and tans, and toned bodies, his puny torso a conscious “up yours” to all that shiny, fake nonsense. A shame he’s an outsider in all the worst ways possible these days.
Oh, Kurt. Smells Like Teen Spirit was everywhere in 1991, and Nirvana, ever ambivalent about the fame bullshit, weren’t playing the game. Kurt Cobain claimed he had a throat infection, and was performing live (which bands rarely did) in a low growl, before crooning exaggeratedly, and then simulating giving his mic some sweet head. Well, it’s good for the throat, or so I’ve heard. Naughty Kurt.
David Bowie in 1972, doing Starman, was an absolutely unique prospect. He looked wild, as glam wasn’t really a movement as such at that stage. When he casually flung an arm around guitarist Mick Ronson, the switchboard went into meltdown: homophobic parents were less than impressed. But fans knew differently – thousands watching fell in love, forever. It’s still arguably the best known TOTP moment, ever.
Hit The North 