Drink up your strawberry Nesquik/Creamola Foam, finish the last crumbs of Findus Crispy Pancakes, peas and oven chips, and make a spirited dash to the wood-panelled TV set. It’s Kenneth time!
Not a Kenny, most certainly not a Ken, Kenneth is a benign, smiling presence in a world of doubt.
He’s crimplene- lean, a clean, bowl – cutted machine, and smart as you like. He enjoys the soothing sounds of Peter Skellern, or ELO at a push. You’ll be glad you invited him into your life. Quentin Smirhes? Don’t know him, chum.
Look at him grooving away there. Note the poise, the grace, the beatific smile. He’s the new kind of masculinity, one we can all get behind. He’s just doing his thing. Comfortable slacks, pleather, real ale. He likes his job in accounts, it reinforces the feeling of order and stability. And his part-time modelling has made him the talk of Stourbridge.
No, he doesn’t have a special someone, thanks for asking, but he’s holding out for a Felicity Kendal, or perhaps Lynsey de Paul. Should a lovely lady want to share his life, it’s chicken in a basket and Blue Nun all the way. He also writes uncommonly sensitive pose and poetry.
Yes, Kenneth is the epitome of charm. Life’s good. Why stress?
Read the interview with Sean Reynard, creator of Quentin Smirhes and Kenneth, over at The Haunted Generation. It’s brilliant. Find more Kenneth (and Quentin, if you must) on Sean’s YouTube channel.