The Great Scottish Diet

Nothing brings a Proustian rush of nostalgia quite like the consumption of sugary Scottish snacks. Tunnocks Tea Cakes are a popular one, after decades, made with either mallow, jam and chocolate, or chocolate and whipped icing sugar, depending on which option you go for. Either way, it’s diabetes on a plate.

This goes for our school snacks of choice. If it wasn’t crisps (potato chips for any US/Canada readers) it was any number of the snacks below. All in Willy Wonka style gaudy packaging, and all containing more sugar, nougar, toffee and chocolate than was strictly advisable.

Old school sweets

But all of this was as nothing when compared to Creamola Foam. Essentially an effervescent drink with sugar crystals, in either raspberry or orange flavour, it’s been described as “crack for children”. You poured it into a glass, added water, drank of its foamy goodness, then some shenanigans occurred, post- lunch on a school holiday, involving tears; vomit, a broken bone or smashed window. Just look at the original advertisement and the tin for said drink, the kids are clearly off their faces.

crack for kids
“Mummy, why are our eyes so big?!”

The eighties have got a lot to answer for. One thing’s for sure, it definitely led to more kids deciding to train in order to become dentists…

Published by loreleiirvine

I'm a freelance arts monkey. Come see my brain vomit.

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