Before we left, before the final barbs, before the hurt, before the anger, before the indifference, I knew.
I knew that the kindness was performative, that you’re an imposter. I knew that you study others, because you are dead inside.
Before goodbye, the smiles, winks, studied lines, I knew it was only a matter of time. “Stars have their moment, and then they die”, as Nick Cave once sang. Too fast, too dazzling, too bright, then it fizzles to nothing. And we were nothing, just a faded facsimile of a moment.
I knew when the red flags first appeared, the refusal to talk honestly and openly, and when you dropped my hand.
Before now, in a different town, head clear and eyes forward, unbeaten, slightly chipped though. Before today, I knew, because my stomach plunged: because the body keeps the score.
Hit The North 