Cat Lovers

In a predominantly dog lovers’ town, I’m a cat person. I glance sideways, but there are few moggy types there, and I’m sitting alone with a group of people who are immune to magical feline charms. I seem to forever be the sore thumb here.

Bowie and The Cure sang about them; Angela Carter wrote about them, Edward Gorey perched one on his shoulders, as does Richard Dawson. Bjork was in a sexual relationship with a tom-cat in one of her videos…of course. David Baddiel is currently exploring their mad ways on a channel four programme,and they’re inspired Japanese punk trio Shonen Knife and musical theatre dickhead Andrew Lloyd -Webber. It’s not often they’re mentioned in the same sentence. Even Taylor Swift has succumbed to their furry ways.

I love them, but don’t possess one anymore. My ex Lew had me looking after his tabby cat Phin, who was a mad little bastard. He’d try to talk to you, as only indoors cats do. I understood every single word, even when it was “bal”.

Cats just know, don’t they.? They’re intuitive, they can pick up on human moods. I think they’re psychic, because they know when people love or hate them, instantaneously. Dogs can be taught, but cats just sense They’re eccentric, magnificent geniuses. They’ll take over the world one day, our feline overlords, I swear. No coincidence they’re witches’ familiars. The internal cat engine, aka purr of a cat, is actually scientifically beneficial, because it lowers stressors. And cat videos, obviously.😼