I realise that it’s officially silly season, and that Andy Warhol beat Alan Partridge to the curve with his assertion that “in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes”, but it seems that the fictional broadcasting dickhead also came up with some prophetic words.
Okay, sure, his most recent TV series, ‘How Are You? It’s Me, Alan (Partridge)’ received a mixed critical response and alienated some fans. Partridge, in signature style, promised an incisive look at societal themes, and failed to deliver as only he could: his spotlight on mental health issues was as tone -deaf and self -absorbed as his best work. The writing arguably wasn’t as consistent as before,but there were still some classic scenes, like the cringeworthy biking trip with old friends, an over-zealous fan who insisted they’d slept together and his take on Mumsnet ( “a great way to meet women with grievances”).
For me, it was both series of ‘I’m Alan Partridge ‘ that remain the most hilarious and have most resonance. Perhaps it’s because it was the first time that we got to see him behind the scenes, falling apart in slow motion and having gone through a bitter divorce. The most prescient scene came from his excruciating exchange with BBC Commissioner Tony Hayers. Desperate to pitch some ideas, he comes out with some absolute shit, to the first bemusement, then hilarity of Hayers, brilliantly portrayed by David Schneider. “How about… ‘Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank’?” he offers. ” Umm… ‘Arm Wrestling With Chas and Dave'”? There’s a few others, as painful as the last. Finally, he suggests,”… ‘Monkey Tennis'”?
The reason this iconic scene has endured is our television and media landscape is APPALLING. We’re completely saturated with celebrity nonsense. Recent TV programmes in the UK have included an archaeology show with Sandi Toksvig, pub walks with Alexander Armstrong, a shipping forecast homage travel show with Reverend Richard Coles, and, for some obscure reason, a knitting competition with Tom Daley. It’s getting ridiculous.
Partridge, spouting terrible ideas, remained as deluded, old-school BBC and out -of-step as ever, but evidently, he was onto something. What was once satire is now the norm.
Foolish as he seemed to be, he actually seemed to anticipate a pop culture which reduces everything to a famous face DOING BANAL SHIT on TV. I’m tired of it. The arts are in crisis, ideas and budgets are at breaking point, AI is putting people out of work, and we all know that media talking heads get ratings, but there’s absolutely no substance whatsoever to any of it. It’s like we can’t get experts in anymore. Who wants to hear an actual art historian prattle on about Dadaism? Let’s just get some celeb in. They’re attractive and well-known, see?
Here are some of my own suggestions:
‘Celebrity Watching Paint Dry’
‘The Great British Jerk-Off’ (Piers Morgan presents)
‘Sue Perkins Perks Up The Nation’ (Sue Perkins runs her own cafe)
‘Dermot O’ Logical ‘ (Dermot O’ Leary presides over a new academic quiz show, which is in no way, shape or form reminisced of ‘Only Connect’)
Pictures: BBC/Baby Cow
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