Interior . Bedroom. Pink castle. Princess Piers yawns, stretches and gleefully gets out of bed, ready to face the day.
PIERS: Huzzah. Another scrumptious English morning, ready to be assaulted by a volley of my opinions, masquerading as facts.
Princess Piers dresses in two seconds flat, slides down a pole and out into The Magic Land. He gasps, eyes widening in astonishment.
PIERS: Why, I… I… Never knew this moment would come. The day I’ve been waiting for my WHOLE life. I’m the happiest doll in Christendom. They’re all so… So beautiful!
Princess Piers does a little twirl. The camera zooms out to reveal…
A whole town, comprised of everyone looking the exact double of Princess Piers Morgan, right-wing pundit and scourge of broadcasting. He walks to a grand room where music plays and sings in a rich baritone.
PIERS (leading the chorus of Piersfolk):
There’s no nuance, there’s no fear
Everybody ‘ s the same here
Bring your family, give a cheer
We’re in the wonderful land… of …Piers!”
Strings swell as Piers and the townsfolk dance in a ballroom festooned with grand portraits of his slappable face.
Among My Piers is out now on limited release.
Merch is available in binary colours only: pink and blue. *No opposable thumbs, just oppositional opinions.*
Hit The North 